|| its only monday?
1. Just cause you have one doesnt mean you have to act like one
2. If youre fat, ugly and have a lisp...you might as well kill yourself
3. If youre not circumcized... stop reading this and get it done NOW!
4. If youve got any growths on your dick you might as well cut it off!
5. And if youve got man boobs, thats just not cool, ESPECIALLY if theyre bigger than mine!
6. Oh yeah and those cheesy comments you make... WONT get us in bed
7. If we have the decency to give you head... keep your hands off our heads!
8. Just cuz we gag doesnt mean youre big
9. Long finger nails are fucking gross... cut the shit down!
10. ...Plus we're sensitive down there
11. Dont act too cool for us when youre with your friends, your friends are just as gay
12. Road head... if we wont do it regular what makes you think we'll do it on the road?
13. And if we have sex with you when we're drunk... that DOESNT mean youre hot
14. NAKED GUYS TURN US ON JUST AS MUCH AS SEEING OUR DOGS ASSHOLES!
15. You think its gross for us to fart and burp... well ditto
16. Trim it, shave it, just whatever you do dont leave it natural!
17. Dont be proud of your chest hair... its fucking gross
18. If we invite you over to eat dinner with our family dont even try to bone us after
19. If we wanna hook up we'll let you know, so stop asking,chances are we dont wanna get with your ugly ass
20. Dont think your a pimp if you get with our best friend... shes a dumb slut anyways
21. No one likes a uni-brow... tweezers can be your best friend
22. Dont try to go down on us if you dont know what youre doing... we dont like pity moans
23. If we spit its because your cum taste like salty spoiled milk, nasty piece of shit
24. And DONT ASK TO CUM ON OUR FACE! we will just duck
25. Our asses are for taking shits... not putting dicks up
26. We may masturbate but we will NEVER let you watch
27. Dont think youre the only ones in it for the ass... we play guys too
28. When you get off, refrain from shaking... it looks like youre having a fucking seizure
29. If we say we like you, but dont want a boyfriend, chances are we dont like you and just feel bad
30. Blue balls dont hurt that bad, so suck it up pussy
31. If we say we like you as a brother chances are we arent into incest
32. Theres no bigger turn off than an insecure boy...
33. All girls want to do it in some kind of water... shower, pool, hot tube... hell even under a leaky pipe will do!
34. And we dont care what you say, guys PMS... girls just have a reason to
35. Chick flicks arent the only things we watch, we like porn too
36. Dont ditch your girlfriend to hang out with your boys, they arent the ones giving you brains
37. Dont underestimate the power of cuddling... you dont know what it may get you!
38. Dont name your body parts... thats really creepy
39. Heads really not that bad, we just dont feel like giving it to your nasty ass all the time
40. If we have sex with you and dont remember... DAMN you were bad
41. If you wanna hang out dont ask us over and then play video games all nite... maddens fucking gay!
42. Oh yeah! when we're talking to you... look at our heads not our boobs!
43. A good long massage is nice once in a while
44. Comb overs = fucking loser, dont even try it
45. Take the fucking pic outta your hair you white boy
46. Titty fucking... NO... what the hell do we get except cum all over our chests?!
47. You think its funny to slap our asses... next time you do it we're gonna slap your fucking face
48. If we go down on you, you best as hell better go down on us, or next time your dick will be laying on the side of the road somewhere
49. If you have an STD and come within 10 feet of me, i swear to God i will take a shot gun to your head
50. And lastly, it may look good to your boys when you get around but it doesnt look good to us... DiRTY WHoRE!
by kathryn amorello